Where did it go?

Time that is and its going by way to fast. Is here a pause button or just a slow down mode? I cannot believe its two years today that I stood in Vietnam and a stranger handed me my daughter. Where has it gone? We have mastered crawling, walking, jumping, singing. I am amazed at this little wonder. How thankful I will be for ever. Better was spending the day with friends who celebrated their little girls two year birthday. She entered the orphanage just 4 days after my daughter came out. Did they sleep in the same bed?
So at this ripe old age of 2 what can we do..
Sing and I mean sing songs...
Count to 20
Sing the ABC's
Sing A is for apple all the way to Z is for zoo.
Best of all her smile, hugs and love for her whole family.
What will the next two year bring? More attitude I am sure.
We love you Sierra

The Pit

That would be La Brea Tar pits. Yes sticky and gooey but what fun. We ventured off to see dinosaurs but learned they have none. They do have Fluffy though. That is the talk in my house. Fluffy is the Saber Tooth Tiger they found and are now cleaning the bones of. She (assuming sex by name) is the first one to be found with her mouth closed. How exciting to watch the paleontologist clean he bones of black gook.

What was even more fun was being with the kids and taking some of the best pictures yet. I am working on getting better but with a broken camera and lens it is hard :(.





And this would be fluffy. Arent they the cutest bones you have ever seen?

Why I love life

And you?

Things I have done are in bold type:

1. Started your own blog
2. Slept under the stars
3. Played in a band
4. Visited Hawaii
5. Watched a meteor shower
6. Given more than you can afford to charity
7. Been to Disneyland
8. Climbed a mountain
9. Held a praying mantis
10. Sang a sol(to my kids only)
11. Bungee jumped
12. Visited Paris
13. Watched a lightning storm at sea
14. Taught yourself an art from scratch
15. Adopted a child (The best thing I've ever done!)
16. Had food poisoning
17. Walked to the top of the Statue of Liberty
18. Grown your own vegetables
19. Seen the Mona Lisa in France
20. Slept on an overnight train
21. Had a pillow fight
22. Hitch hiked
23. Taken a sick day when you’re not ill
24. Built a snow fort
25. Held a lamb
26. Gone skinny dipping
27. Run a Marathon
28. Ridden in a gondola in Venice
29. Seen a total eclipse
30. Watched a sunrise or sunset
31. Hit a home run
32. Been on a cruise
33. Seen Niagara Falls in person
34. Visited the birthplace of your ancestors
35. Seen an Amish community
36. Taught yourself a new language
37. Had enough money to be truly satisfied
38. Seen the Leaning Tower of Pisa in person
39. Gone rock climbing
40. Seen Michelangelo's David
41. Sung karaoke
42. Seen Old Faithful geyser erupt
43. Bought a stranger a meal at a restaurant
44. Visited Africa
45. Walked on a beach by moonlight
46. Been transported in an ambulance>
47. Had your portrait painted
48. Gone deep sea fishing
49. Seen the Sistine Chapel in person
50. Been to the top of the Eiffel Tower in Paris
51. Gone scuba diving or snorkeling
52. Kissed in the rain
53. Played in the mud
54. Gone to a drive-in theater
55. Been in a movie
56. Visited the Great Wall of China
57. Started a business
58. Taken a martial arts class
59. Visited Russia
60. Served at a soup kitchen
61. Sold Girl Scout Cookies
62. Gone whale watching
63. Got flowers for no reason
64. Donated blood, platelets or plasma
65. Gone sky diving
66. Visited a Nazi Concentration Camp
67. Bounced a check (not my fault)
68. Flown in a helicopter
69. Saved a favorite childhood toy
70. Visited the Lincoln Memorial
71. Eaten Caviar
72. Pieced a quilt
73. Stood in Times Square
74. Toured the Everglades
75. Been fired from a job
76. Seen the Changing of the Guards in London
77. Broken a bone
78. Been on a speeding motorcycle
79. Seen the Grand Canyon in person
80. Published a book (my adoption book)
81. Visited the Vatican
82. Bought a brand new car
83. Walked in Jerusalem
84. Had your picture in the newspaper
85. Read the entire Bible
86. Visited the White House
87. Killed and prepared an animal for eating
88. Had chickenpox
89. Saved someone’s life
90. Sat on a jury
91. Met someone famous
92. Joined a book club
93. Lost a loved one
94. Had a baby
95. Seen the Alamo in person
96. Swam in the Great Salt Lake
97. Been involved in a law suit
98. Owned a cell phone
99. Been stung by a bee
100. Read an entire book in one day.

Who's next?

Change is good

As we all know it happened. This is the first election that I can remember where they showed so many people in the streets, so many tears of joy, so much hope. This one person has restored hope without even being sworn in. We have come out of our hole and elected a fine man who happens to have dark skin. I liked him before he won but more after he spoke last night. I cannot wait to see what he brings us in the next 4 years.
Sad also in all this is the prop 8 campaign. The hatred that came out of so many shocked me. They did not want their kids taught about gay marraige in school but they took them out of school to stand on a street corner to wave a sign saying yes on eight. On my way to preschool election day I saw so many kids on the corner yelling YES on 8. What are they being taught?

Now for my family. It is yellow today. Yes yellow as in mustard yellow. I have a son who is loved by all but right now he is on santas naughty list. He found the mustard and managed while I put the baby down for a nap to put it all over the place. I got to go to work and had to clean up a little. Poor daddy had to clean up a lot more.

Are they yours?

I have always thought that my kids looking so different then my husband and I that it would be normal to have people ask if they are adopted. The one question I hate is are they brother and sister. I asked my daughter what people say to her when she is out with them and dont you think they ask " are they brother and sister?". This lead to a great discussion on what to say in front of the kids. I thought a good reply would be, they are my brother and sister as well.
So dont you think today we the kids and I stay in the car while dad runs into Baja Fresh for a quick buritto. He has only two hands and little coordination so he had to make more then one trip. I see this man making faces with Sierra whom he took with him on trip two and though odd. She is not feeling well and wanted nothing to do with him. Turns out it was the mans way of saying something to my husband to open the conversation which went like this.
stranger- Wow she is cute (her head us buried in dads shoulder)
Dad- Thank you
stranger- how old is she? is she adopted we adopted two boys from Korea
Dad-yes she is
Stranger- how old was she when you got her? We wanted to adopt again but we are to old.
Now this is right in front of my car and my son is asking who daddy is talking to. Wanting my lunch I replied without thought " I am sure it is someone who wants to know if your sister is adopted".
And my son says mommy go out and tell him I am too. I felt so much better. He got what I keep telling him. Be proud of where you come from but know that you are still very much a part of your father and I. Adoption is a process but his country is his heritage and I want him to be proud of where he is from.

Terrible or Not

Haa... I sit here trying to type a post about my soon to be two year old. The little girl who was so quiet when I met her and now has spunk and a set of lungs.
Even with the battle of croup that has made from not only long nights but days..
So I took a moment to read a friends blog and she puts my name down and tags me. Seven things wow...

1. I have not eaten meat in 31 years. Do not miss a hamburger and have no memory of eating one. In the old days before chicken or fish at mc Donald's I ordered a Big Mac without the meat. The guy behind the counter would yell "Big Mac hold the cow".

2. I am a boob specialist. Gee wont be telling my kids that anytime soon. Working at Victoria Secret and run the front desk. Not my calling boobs are.

3. My house is a wreck. Trying to organize things has lead to a major mess. You inspire me Nicole. I have enough fabric for dozens of quilts. Time to put one together.

4. I love to bake hate to cook. Will attach my pumpkin bread recipe at the bottom. Make pumpkin pancakes at preschool that the kids love.

5. We are done expanding our family. Tough words but so right for our family. Sierra is meant to be the baby.

6. My dream has always been to live out in the country. A farm with animals.

7. I have 5 wonderful (ok they can be brats) kids and 2 step kids. My step kids have children the same ages of my kids.

Pumpkin Bread
Pumpkin Bread

3 cups suggar
3 ½ cups flour
2 tsp baking soda
½ tsp salt
1 tsp nutmeg
1 tsp cinnamon
1 cup oil
2/3 cup water
4 eggs
2 c canned pumpkin
½ cup chopped dates
½ cup chopped nuts
Chocolate chips
Mix dry ingredients in a large bowl. Make a well and place remaining ingredients into the well. Mix and place in well greased pans. Bake at 350 degree preheated oven for 1 to 1 ½ hours. Makes 3 small or 2 large loaves. 12 juice can.

What a sad week. It actually started over a month ago when our obnoxious neighbor called animal control. See we are abusing our dog the one we love. Let loose in the house and whom the baby think is a big stuff animal. His weight loss came fast and with kids under tow and teenagers I noticed it but did not find the time to run to the Vet. We did take him in and spent $500 to learn little. He had lost weight (since we told them first do they charge less?) and they took blood that did not look awful at all. We went home and spoiled him. Hot dogs, puppy food, love and care and more weight loss. I panicked and asked Chuck to take him in. See he can manage the kids and do and any news much better so why not? Back to the vet and $500 more and still nothing. They tried to x-ray him but he got to excited so they asked us to bring him in early and let him relax before they tried the next day.
I took him in Friday morning and she wanted to just take an x-ray. I said no he needs to relax first as the doctor ordered so please don't stress him out. I am thankful I did as when the call came I was with my kids and able to fall apart in company. They said the cancer was everywhere. I was asking about worms in his stools and if that could be it how could it be cancer and we were losing him. How long? and it only gets worse. It was time now. We asked if we could take him home and say our goodbyes ( this is with huge tears as I type this) and we did. We a family of loving children held, cried, fed and just enjoyed our last hours. Our sweet baby is gone. At peace but gone... He passed 16 years to the day that I lost my sister. What a tough day...

Do children know? She is wiping his eyes did he know? We bid you goodbye for now but we will one day be together again...

A Childs Rights Campaign

Do you even think this came from our agency? Not at all...

May 21, 2008
Dear Families and Friends, Simply put, the orphaned and vulnerable children of Vietnam need your help. Please join us on June 2nd by contacting Members of Congress and urging them to join the Congressional Coalition on Adoption Co-Chairs and sign their letter to Secretary Condoleezza Rice in support of the recommendations found in A Child’s Right Campaign for Vietnam."
A Pending Crisis
The U.S. Department of State has expressed concerns related to corruptive practices associated with intercountry adoption between the U.S. and Vietnam. In response to their concerns, the Department of State will allow the functional closure of adoptions on September 1, 2008 and thereby end one of the most basic of human rights: the right to a safe, permanent and loving family.
Not only will those orphans eligible for adoption continue to suffer the detriments of orphanage life, so will thousands of other orphans and vulnerable children. This is because the service providers engaged in finding U.S. families for Vietnamese orphans also provide a myriad of services to the most vulnerable of children.
As a result, the end of intercountry adoption with Vietnam also brings the end of social services such as family preservation and counseling. It also marks the end of humanitarian services such as educational sponsorships, clean water programs and many health related initiatives.
End Corruption, Not a Child’s Right to a Family
While Joint Council shares in many of the Department of State’s concerns, we believe the solution is not the termination of adoption and elimination of a child’s right to a family. Joint Council, its Member Organizations, NGO’s including Ethica—a leading voice for ethical adoption, the Vietnamese government and Members of the United States Congress firmly believe that the solution is a rational child-centered approach designed to strengthen services, regulate providers and prosecute violators.
A Child’s Right Campaign for Vietnam
In response to the looming crisis facing the children of Vietnam, Joint Council today--May 21, 2008—initiates A Child’s Right Campaign for Vietnam. A Child’s Right Campaign for Vietnam proposes a series of rational recommendations that
address the issues of abuse, protect the integrity of Vietnamese families and ensure the right of every child to a permanent, safe and loving family. The overriding goal of this campaign is very simple: to end corruption, but not a child’s right to a family.
As part of this campaign Joint Council delivered a letter to the Congressional Coalition on Adoption (CCA) Co-Chairs: Senator Mary Landrieu; Senator Norm Coleman; Congressman James Oberstar and Congresswoman Ginny Brown- Waite requesting their immediate assistance. We have asked the CCA and all Members of Congress to support the recommendations found within A Child’s Right Campaign for Vietnam and to work with the Governments of the United States and Vietnam to ensure that an MOA is in place on September 1, 2008.
The Department of State has expressed intent to negotiate and implement a new MOA with the Government of Vietnam. Joint Council applauds the long-term goals of the Department of State, yet finds the short-term path unacceptable. It is clear that the intent is also to allow the current MOA to expire while seeking a new agreement sometime in the future. By all estimates, the Department of State’s current path would result in the functional elimination of services, including adoption, for two years or more!
Finding such a scenario intolerable, we ask for your immediate support of this Campaign. The following page details how you can help us avoid this pending crisis. Only with your active participation will the children of Vietnam have a right to join a permanent, safe and loving family through ethical, professional and legal adoption.
On behalf of the orphaned and vulnerable children of Vietnam, those of us who work to serve their needs and the Joint Council on International Children’s Services, we extend our sincere appreciation for your coming efforts.
Sincerely,
Thomas DiFilipo
President / CEO

A new path

We have celebrated two big birthdays in our house and made some big decisions. First to my 4 yr old son who is the light of our lives. From the day that we met you as a quiet shy little boy in the orphanage with temperatures below zero outside, to this wonderful little boy I can say you have helped me grow so much. You have taught me how to love beyond the borders, play at all hours and enjoy it, and most of all you have brought a special bond in our family. You walked the day we met you but you now run with a smile from ear to ear. Your life is lived on the glass is full there is no 1/2 in your days. If only we could post an ad that says your ok and thank you for such a wonderful son.
And baby Sierra who is now 1. Your smile never seems to fade. Even when you are getting new teeth (8 so far) you seem to smile. Now if we can get you to play with your toys not your brothers. You manage to find anything your brother does as funny including taking your toys away from you.
Yes we are blessed and with this we decided to pull our current dossier and look at some choices we have made. Focus on what we have and enjoy. Our children all of them are the light of our lives and tough journeys have taken us to them but we need our next journey to be easier. That said we have chosen for many reasons NOT to work with the agency that we did to bring Sierra home. Many things have come to light that make us and many others question the integrity of our agency. Are they really out for the best interest of the children? Many say no and this has made us read, talk and listen. With this we have chosen to not risk an ethical adoption to have another child in our family.
We are hoping the two wrong decisions we made in choosing and agency for Vietnam will lead us to the one right as we purse one more child. Our wait will surly be longer but well worth the wait when we will know that the agency we have chosen is ETHICAL.

Did you know?

My mother always says if she cannot find me she can call one of two stores and have me paged and I will answer. Since having an infant home one of those stores is less visited and I am sure they miss me but the 24 hours in my day seems to have shorten lately. Sorry Home Depot but the kids come first. Now my second store is Costco. See they opened so many that its not something you do once a month and spend hundreds of dollars in one trip. Ok so it seems I still do not get out under what I call the $100 club but I can go in for a few items now. So while killing time waiting for the pharmacy who did not understand crabby kids or even crabby mommy I found something....



Ground Saigon Cinnamon and by the picture can you tell I bought it :). So two trips to Vietnam and one which I spent 3 weeks in Saigon and I had no clue. Do you agree though that Ground Saigon Cinnamon sounds so much better then Ground Ho Chi Minh cinnamon? Now the history lesson.. The bottle reads Ground Saigon Cinnamon with a map of Vietnam on it with Ho Chi Minh City and below it says... Cinnamon trees are nurtured for 20 years prior to harvest in the tropical highlands of Vietnam, our Ground Saigon Cinnamon rewards cooks with a sweet-hot flavor unmatched by any other cinnamon. So why did I not see this delicacy in Vietnam?

On the adoption front.. well we told our agency months ago we wanted a new referral or our money back. We were told a new referral would come and it didn't. Not only that but families who have not paid the fee's we have have gotten referrals. So we ask the DIA to move our dossier to another agency and this is what they are told.. We are informed by Faith International that they are activating our old case. So does this mean the same thing to you? I took it as they took ALL our money and then blew us off. They even wrote that they would give our money back and NOTHING. Don't be shocked we are not. I have called a few agencies who have said stay clear do not go forward with that child if they are going to send her file to the DIA for them to fix it.

So nothing new we wait as they collect more money from families, refuse to give us a referral or our money back and we keep letting the U.S Embassy know where we stand with them.

Do you have a glass I will pour

A drink is needed for this discussion. Even for those of us who do not drink it is required. A seat should also be comfortable and padded. My husband gave no warning to any of this just said are you ready? Ready for what? He proceeds your not going to believe this.. Ok so I have both little ones and two teens with me so that is clear, I even have two of the 3 cars, am at home a quick brain check and I am thinking what fired? Do tell is this on purpose the pause and the continued you wont believe this while I have checked off all my worst case scenario's and have them all in order.... He called Faith International Adoption you know the agency who gave us a referral June 12, 2006. No your eyes did not blur at all it says 2006 because that is how long ago they gave us a soft referral. We got the get your Visa call June 2007 and nothing more. They took our money and promised us in July a very quick referral in the north when it fell apart again. Nothing and more ignored calls. August arrives and all of a sudden they are working again on our referral from last year. We took their earlier advice and asked for the money back. Thousands upon thousands they have. The DIA is going to fix it the mother wont sign. So caught up??? Now why I need a drink and you can join me .. Dear Husband calls and said "you offered our money back and wrote two letters asking for it in writing but you have not sent the money... When should we expect it back?..... Her papers have cleared the DIA do you still want her?. Right the same place you told me it cleared what 3 months ago and never went to file a G and R? Smart hubby says great but if her mom did not sign how will the U.S approve her? Oh but we will not know if she will be approved till your there and apply for the I 600. Are they kidding or is this a continuing nightmare? I am not traveling half way around the world to receive this child and be told by the U.S it is unethical. We went and saw her in December and had her for 3 weeks. Spent 3 days back and forth at the SOS clinic with 104.5 fever and then had to return her to the orphanage. Only to be accused of possibly doing something to her by the person running the program to another family. They abruptly took her from the women and said "we need to check her out to see if she is ok". Ok? Yes we walked for 3 straight days while she could not breath spent hundreds of dollars at the SOS she is ok thanks to us.
So in 9 months we have gotten no updates on her and 1 picture. This sweet little girl remains in a orphanage 1 yr longer then she should have been and missed so much. Our hearts try to heal, we try to fill the void but they just continue to dig at us.....
So where we are
472 days from referral
1 yr 3 months and 15 days
679,680 minutes
11,328 hours

BUT WHO THE HECK IS COUNTING ANYWAY.. NOT THEM THEY ACT LIKE ITS BEEN A DAY OR TWO

In search of bigger wings

Time has flown and our patience went with the time. Yes we have been left with NO alternative but to ask for our money back. Large amounts at that and hopefully since we feel they have not kept to their word so far this may be different. Why would we think so you ask? Trust which we have instilled in them for the better part of 18 months. We trusted that you sign with an agency pay your fee's and wait that you will get what they promise. A referral... a child. That did not happen and for the last 18 months we have been on a ride that the twilight zone could not have written. A referral of a precious baby girl that never cleared. Told to prepare for travel then sorry they found her mother 15 months later. New referrals promised and never given. We sit here 18 months later no closer,and more heart broken that an agency is allowed to work in adoption when they do this. Did they forget to tell us that more then 19 months into this they can just decide not to let us adopt with NO reason. Request that you pay your fee's only to give you nothing?
We have worked with another agency and brought our little girl home and they will tell you that we are honest, ethical, caring people. They enjoyed working with us enough that they in their own words look forward to us adopting from them again. So as you see it is not US. Yes we have not always had patience. We have had questions but no different than anyone else. So it is with the saddest of hearts that we move forward with another agency. See our little girl is and always be in our hearts. The referral they promised us did not happen and we see no end. If she should ever become available we have informed the U.S Embassy and we are also informing the DIA that we are approved and still want her.
We do look forward to returning to Vietnam and working with our agency once again. Our experience both in Vietnam and in he U.S was excellent.
Please say a prayer for the little girl stuck in an orphanage. She deserves more....

Ethical?

We search the definition of Ethical and ask the U.S Consulate what they define as ethical and it seems to not fall into our current situation. Now this is of course our interpretation of our current situation and what was heard on the last phone call.
Our sweet child who we called our daughter resides in an area of Vietnam the you do not find relinquished babies. Yes some regions allow it some do not. Our daughter was abandoned and the information on her abandonment was told to us on our trip. She was left in the hospital by her birth mother with a fake name and address. So why 14 months later have we still not gotten her we do not know. We do know another agency in the region is having NO trouble so we question if it really is the region but.... six months into it we are told they have gone to the address twice and its an empty lot no one knows who the person is they are looking for. You think she does not want to be found? Then we hear nothing for months no updates nothing. Finally in June we are told get your Visa its finally done but yes the saga goes on. It really isn't done after all and weeks go by no date. We are told they have to get to the region to file but then learn they found the mother. The needle in the hay stack.
With a broken heart we ask for a new referral and wait more. We tell the agency that we are moving forward and since we have paid ALL our fee's its time. Based on the U.S requirements of abandonment she is not eligible for adoption. We are almost 2 months from requesting a new referral and still nothing. Dragging their feet? We think so, as they issue new referrals to families and agreed to replace our referral two months ago nothing. Now we are told that the mother of this little girl we called our daughter cannot, will not for reasons of her own sign. She has a right and we do not judge her. We do judge our agency who has no accepted this and says they are sending her file to the DIA to have them release her. Why not months ago why now when you have a mother refusing to sign?
The U.S Embassy will not issue her a Visa she cannot be adopted under the conditions we are told so we sit more. We have asked for ALL our money back as they have collected interest and we have 17 months later paid and gotten nowhere.
So Ethical I ask? They know that if the facts they give are true she is not adoptable yet they 2 months later have given our new referrals and tell us to wait. Wait for what?

Up and Down

Over a month ago we were told that our referral of 13 months was stuck. We talked to the agency and had many discussions at home and agreed to accept a new referral as long as we can have a guarantee that if her papers ever clear we can adopt her. Sounded clear but then followed a few weeks of you will get an immediate referral and still nothing. In this time we got 1 yes one updated photo in 7 months time of our little girl. You mean they fixed her papers? No such luck. Then we got a copy of her birth certificate. I had asked for this before but never got it so now what? You mean hope? No they have no clue why it was sent to us. Still no change and no new referral. We heard they gave out 2 referrals in this time but we wait. Then we get a letter as if we just decided to do this and they have to see if they can transfer our dossier. I cannot imagine doing another dossier if she never becomes available can you? So nothing new and still waiting with many others who seem no less frustrated.
Now to our wonderful weather. How can anyone complain when you live in California? We have been lazy this summer and so enjoying it. The baby is now crawling everywhere and wants to stand up. We hope to make it to the County fair this week and we just bought tickets for the Skirball museum. They have Noah's Arc and it looks fantastic.
My big joy seems to be shopping at Costco though and there we found a cell phone that works in Vietnam. We do need to buy a sim card but this will give us a local Vietnam number which saves you from sitting in hotel rooms waiting for phone calls.
Hope your all having a great summer.

Every second counts

In a blink of an eye and today marks 4 months home with our sweet baby. She crawls all over and is determined to walk. I am not ready but she has this idea that she is. No need to sit as we can move fast to any object that will assist in getting her to the standing position. All at 9 months. We have 6 teeth with the last 4 coming in all in a weeks time. And the fun facts about my little angel...
Birthstone Opal (Hope)
Astrological Sign Scorpio
Flower Chrysanthemum
Year of the Dog
Starts Kindergarten 2012
Drives a Car 2022
Finish High School 2025
Graduates College 2029
Scary thing is that will all happen to soon. And my son
Astrological Sign Libra
Flower Calendula
Year of the Goat
Start Kindergarten 2009
Drives a car 2019
Finish High School 2022
Graduates College 2026

So as you see it will all come to fast so sit on the rug and play with your kids and give them the extra hug. The laundry will still be there tomorrow but they will be one day older and you may have missed something don't.

Long Weekends

This has to be the longest weekend I can remember. It all started out so quiet and boy did it become a weekend to remember. Our choice of puppies changed when I got a call from a friend. Being a German Shepard family I was asked if I looked at the rescue site. Sure I have searched this site as a better way to bring a dog into my parents home. See mom does not get the computer at all. I post things here for her to see ie: the dog pictures. She could not figure out for her life (love you mom) how to view them so I posted here and she only hits Internet explorer. Yes my blog is her home page.

So Saturday morning I leave my quiet home with hubby and 2 kids and we are off to the rescue place. About 1 hour later we arrive and are shown the most magnificent animals. Most being over a year and large dogs I begin to worry can my mom handle it. Several yes several hours later we leave with a 7 month old Shepard. She is missing her tail, just removed at the vets due to infection. Could we take them all, you bet we considered it.

So back home to my house 1/2 hr west of my parents to get the crate. More time in the car poor kids and we choose to relax a bit then head back. I swore off the car for the remainder of the weekend.

Ok so I must have forgotten that part as I decided to visit my sisters grave and leave her a nice present. So off Sunday morning to the cemetery with 2 kids and a good hour drive. Yes what was I thinking. This is when you say yep she asked for it. We arrive I set up my gift and the phone rings. One hour away the other direction my son 17 is being rushed to the hospital after a motorcycle accident and a broken arm. I cannot be more thankful for an easy baby as she behaved all day so well for me. Extra hugs tonight.

I can tell you I am so tired but at 12:30 cannot fall asleep I so look forward to a quiet week. Who said having 7 kids was easy?

On the adoption front I have to comment on the referral issue. Back on the top of the list would be nice. Since we should have been then I guess we should have gotten the last referral we did not. We did ask a few weeks ago where we are on the list since ALL the families before us are home or moved on. So we gave up our referral after 13 months in one region to accept a referral in another as they suggested and we know nothing. We do know the one and only person is taking a vacation in August. He said the month of August but the agency says a week. We do know that in the last 2 weeks we have gotten little to nothing from the agency. Still in the dark and still waiting. Still hoping that one day we will get our little girl in Can Tho.

How do you choose?

Danger

Can you imagine leaving home and thinking your house and animals are safe to return to this.

What I am not getting is the little yellow card stapled to a little wooden stick on the empty lot behind us. It is warning for the second year in a row that the owner must clean his lot by June 1st. I am sure they write which year, or sure hope so. This year they moved the tag to the left about 10 feet. Still weeds and it is now July 19th if you think it is so dangerous maybe you should clean the lot?

The weather is perfect as usual in California. We get a nice breeze in the afternoon that cools things down quite fast. I have been busy trying to talk my tomatoes to grow and found something in one of my pots.....

Yet you got it a watermelon. I do not have a lot of room to grow but figured why they heck not try to grow them in pots. So I have 1 cucumber, 2 watermelon, Chinese eggplant (they grown in anything) tomatoes, lemons, peaches, apples. All in a small space.

On the adoption front. You better sit for this one as I am still sitting and trying to make sense of this whole thing. Yes it gets worse but better has to come some day. We are told that dispite being abandoned with a fake name and address for the mother that they have found her. What does this mean you ask? Who knows as we really have no information. I dont even think they know what is going on to be truthful. So decisions are being made, information exchanged and hopefully we will have answers soon. If we go on the LIST again where are we? I do wonder this as we are technically ahead of anyone else since we signed long before but as you know nothing goes as we would assume here.

So what do you think the bottom or top of the list for a referral? Should we pay more since the fee's are higher?

Is this not patient?

So we are almost there. Yes just 2 hours away and we are going to hit 13. Yes it can be it has been and it will be 13 whole months since we got the referral of a 3 month old baby. Do I care that she is 16 months old today? Only that she has spent way more time in a orphanage then she needed to. Bitter? Not at all because that would mean he wins. Has my love changed for this little girl who I call my daughter? Not at all. If you ask how many kids I have you will hear 8 yes it is 8 and has been since we brought the baby home. See we got number 7 just a short 13 months ago and she holds a special place in my heart.
Now you ask why 13 months? I can tell you what we are told and I can show you the 2" thick binder with EVERY yes every email we have printed and saved. Do they make sense at all? Nope and worse is the one who suffers is a baby. I am sorry if I sound bitter but really I am not just hurt that this little person is missing out on so much. Hugs, Kisses, ABC's and even sand. Yes sand at the park at the beach or just in her shoes. How sad that someone is so selfish to put her needs aside and carry a grudge, get even, or just have a temper tantrum.
What we do know is this. About 3 weeks ago my husband got a call to get the Visa. Her papers were done. We waited for the G and R and checked in but heard no one made it to her Provence. They are busy. A family wrote the only facilitator left the country to try to start adoptions in another country. Again more families still no time. Then the letter. They always come from the same person and always have a nasty tone to them. More accusations and more hatred all warped up in an email. How this person has such hatred in him amazes me but I don't. I feel sorry for him that he uses children as pawns to stroke his ego. My husband then calls and asks the person who gave him the information who said in a nut shell.... Yes I told you to get a Visa but I don't remember telling you her papers are done. Oh well 13 months later and we are no closer how SAD.
I do appreciate the support and all the letters I got about the nasty email on the yahoo group. I assure you not only am I kind, courteous but I CARE. I will not defend myself but will say a child suffers from the lies one spreads and I will not partake in that game.
Congratulations to my friends who got referrals this month. Your children are beautiful and will bring you such joy.
Our youngest is now 8 months old and crawls. She has also figured out how to get what she wants. First the lip rolls in and the pout. Then the tears start to run and she cries. How dare you forget about me is the look. It is my children all 8 who have given me the strength to get through this. They are the ones who make every day bright. You have blessed us and we are forever grateful.
To my children thank you for the gift you have made my life so much better so much fuller and so much more loved.